First Name, Ag, Location

Experience

Pam, 51, East Sussex

Experience I am a Gp - I was researching information about craniosynostosis which is a major disfiguring condition. I came across this website- I will be informing my patients about it, as there are many condition which I see on a daily basis where there is some degree of facial disfiguremtn- eg severe acne with scarring; cleft lip; scars from traum etc I think this is a very worthwhile endeavour and I will support it.

Lucy, 14, Alnwick

I'm not disfigured myself but came across this site whilst doing research for my 'appearences' project in art for GCSE - I'm mainly basing my work on faces and the judgement that comes with individuality. I just wanted to say that I think that this campaign is very special and is doing a very important thing in shownig equality no matter what's on the outside

carol, 45, london

My child has termed dysmorphic feature and guess what she will have to have an invasive risky surgical procedure just to fit in, it is surgery she now wants as up to now she has suffered the affects of looking different.. Already the gaps are showing in terms of normal milestones e.g. boyfriends, getting work. Being asked by headteachers if she has special needs when looking around schools (academically bright although got behind when bullied in school) its a shame that in todays enlightened world her experience has been such a struggle/experience. I know she has been discriminated against yet sometimes this is hard to prove. I definately agree that teachers need to further education on this aspect of childhood development.

Ann, 21, Poland

I'm really sorry, I clicked Submit by mistake I suppose such a campaign should be launched also in my homecountry, Poland. I really hope your campaign will succeed.

Ann, 21, Poland

I don't have any disfigurement myself, but I am considered to be "very ugly". When I walk down the street, passer-bys often comment my outside looks: "oh, what a dog!", "if I looked like this girl, I'd commit suicide" and so on. I DO have a really big, bulbous nose, but Jesus, that's not my fault! I suppose

Rachel Cleary, 35, Sheffield

I am a mother of a child with Down's syndrome, he is a happy, sociable and lovely chiild. What hurts me deeply is the attitute of individuals when we are out and about, obviously he looks different but rather than smiling at him or replying when he says hell,o more often than not people just stare at him. Currently he is unaware of how rude and ignorant people are but what worries me most is when he realises he is different to everyone else and people aren't looking at him in order to engage with him, they are just staring because the are rude and ignorant. It is about time difference was embraced.. really wouldn't our world be a very dull place if we all looked the same..

tricia, 55, lancashire

Experience i have had vitiligo since the age of 30 and it seemed to stay in just a few places small patches, but this year 08 it just seems to be spreading quickly, and an ex did comment on how it looked and now that has made me a bit embarrased about it, will everyman think the same! as i am single now.

Alison, 50, Merseyside

Experience I have a cleft pallete and hare lip, unfortunately this means I did not prosper academically as the teaching staff in the secondary modern I attended had very negative attitudes to disfigurement, so diid the primary school staff which reinforced other pupils superficial values. I have since financed my attendance at adult education classes. The result is I am always way behind my age peer group in terms of employment status and earnings. A degree gained in your forties is not going to reap the same rewards as one achieved in your early twenties. Disfigurement can have a permanent negative impact on your earning capacity.

Jan, 25, Miami, FL, USA

I have a large AVM (Arteriovenous malformation) on the lower left half of my face. I'm constantly wearing makeup to cover it up. I've been doing this since my teen years. I agree that our society is extremely superficial. Particularly here in Miami, where physical beauty is the most important thing on young people's minds. I often feel embarrassed about my facial condition. I've also had tons of surgery for my condition, so my face has changed a lot over the years, which makes it even more difficult. I'm really glad that there is this campaign for increasing awareness. Oftentimes, I feel like people look because they just don't know. I know that if it was the other way around, I'd probably look too, just out of curiosity. But I am just tired of feeling inadequate because of it. I know that this condition is a part of me, I'm ready to accept it for what it is, move on, and embrace life regardless! I am so much more than just my face.

Ann, 60, USA

I do not have a facial disfigurement but I have a forehead that is too large and a hairline that is too high. I know that seems trivial unless you add to it that I also had very crooked teeth and was the least attractive in a family of ten girls. My mom was quite pretty but was mentally ill and was quite critical and abusive of all her daughters. I always felt ugly and worthless even though I was otherwise quite pretty. As an adult, I got braces at 28--that helped tremendously. I also sought out counseling and learned that my mom was not well--it was not about me. Somedays I can believe that easily, others I still struggle. Over the years I also learned to look to God for myself worth. It has made a tremendous difference in my life and the increased happiness is reflected in my face so it has actually made me prettier. I have come to believe that many people struggle deeply with something--their struggles just don't always show on the outside. In response to this belief, it is one of my life's commitments to treat everyone I meet as a child of God and a human being of equal worth. I am often told that I do--I hope that it is so. However, sometimes I really need guidance from those whose differences are on the outside as to what it means to do that. I did not have the opportunity to learn this kindness at home. I'm sure many others didn't either.

Niall, 37, Dublin,Ireland

I have Vitiligo. I have patches around my eyes so far. It started off as very small patches of de-pigmented/colourless skin on my lower body then spread to my face. I'd feel ok if it stopped now but it spreads more

Alexander, 23, Toronto, Canada

I first heard of this website because of the BBC. People are discriminated in so many ways, from race, to age, to sexual orientation, or weight, or illness, and of course disfigurements are just another branch of this tree. I often feel that modern society glorifies the haughty and vain, and dismisses ideals like humility and kindness. Once you shake a person's hand, or speak to them longer than a few seconds, appearance becomes completely trivial. It is the soul that truly matters, and I hope that in my lifetime people will let go of the marketeers who tell us what is and isn't beautiful.

Sharon, 56, Canada

The face represents who we are, and life is just that little bit extra difficult when we don't like our own faces. In my own family, a somewhat angular face and mild acne have led three generations to go through life feeling ugly - my mother, myself, and my niece. I always thought my mother and my niece beautiful, but I really have to work at feeling good about my own face, because I know what the world thinks of it! Once when I was working at a laundromat, I met a man with a serious facial disfigurement, because of an accident he'd been in, and I started chatting with him as I would anyone else; his reaction told me that very few people even spoke to him. I think this is key - and the answer for Sarah; observe how you react to so-called normal people in any situation, and then consciously apply the same behaviour to people with disfigurements, until it's habit. If you normally look at people on the sidewalk for exactly three seconds, do the same for the person with a disfigurement. If you're in a place where you normally speak to people, then talk to the person with the disfigurement. That's all most people want - to be treated like ordinary people.

Sheila Squire, 33, Wales

Experience I don't have a facial disfigurement, but I am hearing impaired. I work in a 'normal' school as a teacher for 'normal' children. I too experience feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment. I find it very hard to prove my worth as a teacher to parents who feel I should not be teaching their children. We do live in a society where disabilities and facial disfigurement are dealt with badly, simply because people are too polite to deal with things, pretend they don't notice, or they are uncomfortable with difference. Be open, ask, because then we can prove that we do have qualities and are just as valuable to society.

Elizabeth, Singapore

I stumbled upon this website through a news link on BBC, and although I do not have a facial disfigurement, I am appalled by the reactions of some people who encounter people with deformed features. That is blatant discrimination. It isn't very nice to be unkind and think what that person must feel. For all you people who do not have a look that the general society approves of, always remember that there are people out there who looks past your features, and looks are transient after all. There is a God who loves you.

Sarah, 28, London

I don't have a facial disfigurement and I wouldn't like to think that I am unkind when I see someone who does. But what should I do, as an unaffected person in the street, when I see somebody with a disfigurement? If staring is bad, so too is looking away too fast. Smiling or holding a friendly gaze is not normal in London, regardless of what people look like. I can't help registering it if I see something unusual, and this will show on my face instantly - it's a natural human reaction to be drawn to something different or new to you, regardless of whether you are judging it or not. How should I deal with this so as not to give offence?

Sam, 50, Ghana

I have a facial disfigurement and is terrible what I go through. From discrimination at the work place (not getting what I deserve), people staring at you whenever you are out, others looking down upon you, etc. It is terrible. I see this even when I am in church. It is very embarrassing. Wish this campaign could be extended to this part of the world to help people with this challenge.

First Name, Ag, Location

Experience

Teresa, 36, Llandudno

I think this organisation is doing a wonderful job of trying to raise peoples awareness of how people can have a negative attitude towards disfigurement. I was particulary touched by Clare's comments that she looks right back if she is feeling bold, but sometimes when she doesnt feel good about herself she feels embaressed. I'm sure we can all emphaphise with Clare regarding having a bad day with regards to how you feel you look. However I am sure that is made all the more harder when you feel that people are looking at you. xxx

Sandy, 58, USA

I think that getting people of all stripes to even ACKNOWLEDGE that people with facial disfigurements exist, have feelings, are 'normal,' have experienced discrimination of all kinds in the past ... WHEW! Here in the USA, one organization has selected a beauty queen as their spokesperson! I think most organizations focus on the 'medical' aspects - with a BIG emphasis on the cause (even though, with the exception of purely hereditary conditions, finding the 'cause' won't help those living with it today) "social" aspects of a disfigurement are handled via learning how to apply make-up better, learning 'social skills'. While these are nice to learn, they don't do anything about changing attitudes of unaffected people. I am very interested in reading more about your research. Unlike people with physical or sensory disabilities, "we" DO have the power of how we present ourselves. Makeup aside, it's important to learn how to fell self-assured in public ... giving eye contact especially, when appropriate, integrating in a 'typical' fashion and recognizing when it can help to say something re: disfigurement and when one has to "shine it on" because the WORST DISABILITY is reserved for those deemed "MORALLY handicapped".

Harold, 37, Georgia USA

I do not have a facial disfigurement but I want to express my support for this organization's goal of changing society's views on the subject. Our society is extremely superficial and we never take the time to know someone as a person. We are too quick to judge someone based on physical characteristics that the person has no control over. What you look like is a product of genetics and chance. The person that you are, your character, is a product of what you are striving to be. You can make yourself a positive member of society but you cannot make yourself fit a certain physical standard. We should judge people on the things about themselves that they can directly affect. I will work on my own attitudes and prejudices so that I will not make someone feel awkward or ashamed because they are different. I will try to look at the inner person instead of the outer person. I will try to spread the message of acceptance and equality.

Clare, 43, Essex

I too have a facial disfigurement, a large port wine stain on the right side of my face. I can really empathise with you. I too can't stand being stared at and if I am feeling bold enough stare straight back. However there are the times when I don't feel good about myself and all I want to do is sink into the ground and disappear. I feel embarrassed for the person I am with incase they have noticed I am being stared at... .. How silly is that?

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